On heartbreak and loving deeply

The first thing I think about when I hear the word heartbreak is: pain

There is pain in heartbreak, or at least that’s what they tell you. They call it heartbreak because it feels as if your heart has been shattered. Because people relate breaking to pain. There is a change in the continuity of something. A gap. We tend to feel heartbreak when there is loss. It is the pain of losing something, that we feel. It is the process of mourning that we go through.

But I don’t believe that heartbreak happens when there is loss, I believe it happens when there is love.

Rather, I believe that heartbreak happens at the point that someone is loved deeply. So deeply that it pierces through and creates the cracks and holes that signify a broken heart. See a broken heart can mean that there is pain and loss of love, but furthermore it is a proof of even being loved, and loved deeply, in the first place. It is love that creates the cracks our hearts possess, not the loss of it. The very fact that there are people present in our heart tells us that they have broken in.

A broken heart is a testament of how much we have been loved, not how much we’ve been hurt.

But then raises the question, what is it then that makes us feel pain if our hearts have already been broken? It is the loss. It is the unfairness that exists when someone’s presence leaves your heart, yet knowing that the very cracks they created will never leave. It is reminder that there will always be a gaping hole where they entered willingly, and left. When someone is loved deeply, there is a door left open. The joy in a person’s choice to stay is just as powerful as the pain in someone’s decision to leave. The pain is in carrying the memory of both forever, present in the cracks that they left.

But I tell you, be proud of those scars. They are symbols of being loved deeply, of having presence in your heart, of people that have fought to get into the thing that you hold most sacred to you. And if you want to, then be boastful about it because those are testaments of people that have made the effort to love you.

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